pensman

scene i

Claud is concerned. Something is rotten in the state of Hamlet but what is it? He's reserved and not blabbing to his friends Guild and Roz for one. See, Hamlet is following the advice Polonius gave to Laertes and Hamlet didn't even hear it.

However, he does want Claud and Gert to see a little play. We know what's coming don't we. Now for the big plan. Time to loose Ophelia to Hamlet so Claud and Pol can hide and observe. How will this be done. Ophelia will pretend to be reading her Bible so that with "devotion's visage/And pious action we do sugar o'er/the devil himself." Or we make the bad look good thorough pretense. (Some of Macbeth's fair is foul, foul is fair here)

And do we get a hint that perhaps Claud has a guilty conscience about something? "O 'tis too true!/How smart a lash that speech doth give my/conscience./The harlot's cheek beautied with plast'ring art/Is not more ugly to the thing that helps it/Then is my deed to my most painted word./O heavy burden."

Oops. Here is the big speech. The one most likely to be assigned as a memorization project: "To be or not to be." Basically it would be nice to die and stop the pains of life but since we don't know for sure what's on the other side we usually choose to live. Sort of better the devil you know then the devil you don't. Hey, there's Ophelia. What's up Babe?

Ham. I have presents received from you but I don't think you meant them so take them back.

What are you talking about?

Why your letters and stuff and. . .

Now you ask why does Hamlet treat Ophelia so badly. Because while it doesn't say so in any stage direction in the text (boo Bill) it is assumed Pol and Claud give their location away somehow and Hamlet knows he's being set up. That's why such questions as "are you honest," and "where's your father." Or if our assumption is incorrect, maybe Hamlet's just nuts period.

Poor Ophelia is devastated. "Get thee to a nunnery" indeed. Again nice play on words. She is reading her Bible so convent like image but a nunnery was also Elizabethan slang for a house of ill repute. Hamlet is calling Ophelia a ho. Bad Hamlet.

Claud may not have a Whittenberg education but he doesn't think this sounds like love talk. Perhaps a nice sea voyage. A trip to England maybe. Yes, that's it, let's get him out of the country because "Madness in great ones must not unwatched go."

scene ii

I covered the beginning of this scene in earlier notes so shame on you if you were too lazy to read them. Horatio’s job is to keep an eye on Claudius as the play progresses. If he reacts then we know the truth. If he doesn't then "It is a damned ghost that we have seen." I don't know about the logic of this plan. what would happen if Claudius were a really good villain who could control his emotions. This is not a great plan. Hercule Poriot would be more clever.

Let's get on with it. This is a long play. We have some more word play between Pol and Hamlet but the good stuff is the word play between Ham and Ophelia: "Lady, shall I lie in your lap?/No, my lord./I mean my head upon your lap?/Ay, my lord./Do you think I meant country matters?/I think nothing my lord./That's a fair thought to lie between maid's legs." If you can't figure this pun out then you shouldn't be reading Shakespeare. There's another play on words a little later on about being pregnant and how you get so. Find that if you can.

Finally the play begins. Well actually the acting part begins. There was a pantomime (the dumb show) of the action taking place but apparently Claud didn't see it but now he's all ears. Anyway this player king and queen say how much they love one another and will always be true and faithful and can you see where this is going. Claud can because he asks if the play has any offense in it. Basically, you don't put on plays that get kings upset.

Hamlet says not to worry. Nothing offensive in it. It's called the Mousetrap (Get it, Hamlet is trying to catch a rat) and tells about a murder in Vienna but its story "touches us not," because "we have free souls." Well the play continues and guess what: it has offense in it. Claud gets upset. Even Horatio has to agree the ghost has given them a smoking gun or at least a smoking play.

And here come R and G to let Ham know Claud is smoking and the queen would like a few words with her son. Also they would like Hamlet to tell them what's bothering him. Hamlet decides enough of this and hands the boys a flute and tells them play. Guess what? They cannot, they don't have the skill. At which point Hamlet says then why do they try to play him, isn't he more complex than a simple flute. This is a nice analogy. Bill is back in our good graces.

Hamlet is off to see mom. What will happen next?

scene iii

It’s the G and R and Claud show. Hamlet's got to go. I will send him to England with you boys, now get out of here. Polonius what do want? Going to hide behind another arras are you. Fine, you do that. Good-bye. Alone at last. But alone with my thoughts and I did it. I killed my brother and I sleep with his queen. Is it too late for me? Can I pray and find forgiveness? "Bow stubborn knees."

Here come Hamlet right down Kill the King And Revenge My Father Lane but. There is always a but especially if we're only in Act III. If I kill Claud now while he prays his soul goes to heaven. Is that revenge? No. Better to kill him when he's in the act of sleeping with mom then he'll go to Hell. Off I go then.

IRONY TIME. What does Claud say? "My words fly up, my thought remain below/Words without thoughts never to heaven go."

Should have killed him.

scene iv

Polonius gets around quite well for an older fellow. He beats Hamlet to his mother's room and gets himself tucked away. And here comes Hamlet.

“Hamlet, thou hast thy father much offended.”

“Mother, you have my father much offended.”

Nice word play. Now Hamlet decides it's time for Mom to look inside at who she is and he tells her she's to sit down and not move until Hamlet puts a mirror in front of her in which she is to seek for her real self. Now all of a sudden Gert starts off with, "What . . . Thou wilt not murder me?" What is she talking about? Is she afraid of mirrors? Anyway Polonius hears murder and yells out for help and Hamlet helps him--die that is. Now here's a scene. With dead body at their feet, Hamlet begins to yell at his mother for having married Claudius. How do you go from a god (Hamlet, Sr.) to a mildewed ear (Claudius). It couldn't have all been lust. Gertude isn't exactly flaming youth you know. No doubt Hamlet would have ranted at mom some more but the ghost shows up. The ghost is a bit miffed. This should be Claudius lying dead at their feet not Polonius. So the ghost tells Hamlet to comfort mom and get on with killing step dad. Mom is a bit shook up about now. She has a corpse at her feet and her son is talking to the empty air. Help.

Suddenly. What's wrong mom? Little bit of understatement there. Listen mother. Repent your marriage, go not to that bed of compost again, or accept any reechy kisses. Nice images. As for me, I'm off to England with G and R my trustworthy boyhood chums. Well, we'll see how this plays out because I trust those two like "adders fanged." I know they work for Claud but I'm smarter than they and "will delve one yard below their mines/And blow them at the moon." But immediately pardon me as I "lug the guts into the neighbor room" and make a bad rhyme on grave and knave; and then with blood and guts and crazy talk I conclude this interview with, "Good night, mother."

Good night. Good grief, where is Act IV?